i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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