Texts From Last Night

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  (276): View more from Virginia

  Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.

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  (276): Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while. http://tfl.nu/zglk
  Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (1211)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!

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  (512): OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs! http://tfl.nu/zfxs
  Replies (7) Good night (648) Bad night (5112)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.

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  (604): Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be. http://tfl.nu/j7k8
  Replies (16) Good night (4812) Bad night (1042)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park

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  (902): I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park http://tfl.nu/d8es
  Replies (7) Good night (2840) Bad night (959)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.

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  (417): Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever. http://tfl.nu/md7w
  Replies (30) Good night (12089) Bad night (1151)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country

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  (210): Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country http://tfl.nu/te1e
  Replies (9) Good night (4272) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.

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  (330): I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in. http://tfl.nu/a5v5
  Replies (9) Good night (2189) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.

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  (781): Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad. http://tfl.nu/2wvl
  Replies (20) Good night (1487) Bad night (4960)
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  (707): View more from California

  come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.

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  (707): come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you. http://tfl.nu/6h34
  Replies (17) Good night (2005) Bad night (2462)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...

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  (308): is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night... http://tfl.nu/up0o
  Replies (6) Good night (764) Bad night (1752)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.

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  (912): Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks. http://tfl.nu/l0wp
  Replies (5) Good night (1109) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.

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  (707): Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point. http://tfl.nu/74cc
  Replies (1) Good night (622) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.

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  (910): Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music. http://tfl.nu/9l8h
  Replies (8) Good night (1159) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...

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  (225): Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down... http://tfl.nu/qxa1
  Replies (2) Good night (322) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.

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  (815): I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom. http://tfl.nu/kcqn
  Replies (1) Good night (206) Bad night (512)

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