kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.