Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better

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(650): View more from California

they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.

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(443): View more from Maryland

This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.

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(305): View more from Florida

Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.

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(330): View more from Ohio

dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless

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(301): View more from Maryland

We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.

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