Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up http://tfl.nu/cb8k
  Replies (28) Good night (1120) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I wish costco sold astroglide.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I wish costco sold astroglide. (248): i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about. http://tfl.nu/mkwg
  Replies (41) Good night (3050) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?" http://tfl.nu/d4r4
  Replies (120) Good night (1761) Bad night (4630)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk." http://tfl.nu/biax
  Replies (15) Good night (5030) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love http://tfl.nu/ix9b
  Replies (26) Good night (6463) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk http://tfl.nu/q4ib
  Replies (14) Good night (4809) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties http://tfl.nu/4hbe
  Replies (10) Good night (3997) Bad night (1370)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break. http://tfl.nu/iu19
  Replies (13) Good night (1309) Bad night (4072)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist. http://tfl.nu/hmuv
  Replies (37) Good night (8337) Bad night (1091)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner. http://tfl.nu/o8kh
  Replies (15) Good night (1165) Bad night (3642)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow http://tfl.nu/50w2
  Replies (14) Good night (1956) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong http://tfl.nu/rbr5
  Replies (5) Good night (3073) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil. http://tfl.nu/r5gy
  Replies (1) Good night (2040) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL http://tfl.nu/z2bq
  Replies (7) Good night (1551) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in http://tfl.nu/4adg
  Replies (4) Good night (913) Bad night (479)

Randomize