I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Ketchup is God's man juice
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.