Texts From Last Night

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.

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  (479): New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways. http://tfl.nu/3d1m
  Replies (42) Good night (917) Bad night (2746)
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  (661): View more from California

  Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.

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  (661): Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better. http://tfl.nu/n2tz
  Replies (6) Good night (2441) Bad night (704)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.

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  (281): Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table. http://tfl.nu/g0qe
  Replies (10) Good night (3701) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  this is your brother

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  (978): im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;) (1-978): this is your brother http://tfl.nu/l4xz
  Replies (63) Good night (1282) Bad night (14382)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.

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  (973): gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops. http://tfl.nu/1v8v
  Replies (37) Good night (8918) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.

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  (770): His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution. http://tfl.nu/sbqf
  Replies (21) Good night (6143) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?

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  (412): You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy? http://tfl.nu/p3a3
  Replies (9) Good night (4097) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.

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  (763): Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking. http://tfl.nu/53g7
  Replies (9) Good night (3398) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.

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  (785): Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini. http://tfl.nu/90ss
  Replies (10) Good night (3410) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine

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  (530): Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine http://tfl.nu/asqo
  Replies (37) Good night (2266) Bad night (4224)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.

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  (707): We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs. http://tfl.nu/2c0b
  Replies (5) Good night (1033) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.

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  (724): If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet. http://tfl.nu/ik1n
  Replies (4) Good night (797) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.

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  (912): I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there. http://tfl.nu/8rbi
  Replies (12) Good night (1578) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.

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  (801): Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later. http://tfl.nu/hc8l
  Replies (10) Good night (531) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job

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  (618): I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job http://tfl.nu/40h9
  Replies (6) Good night (384) Bad night (668)

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