If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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