Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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