new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
