I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
