if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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