Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize