I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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