K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Floor bacon is actually really good
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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