just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
