New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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