Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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