More tranny stories later!
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
