So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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