Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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