Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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