I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
