We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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