omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
