i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
