Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We have so much sex to catch up on
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
