He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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