Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
