Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
