The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
do nipples grow back?
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