is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
