Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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