weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
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how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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