took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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