dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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