I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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