i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
