Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
