It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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