I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
