Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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