Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
