I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
