Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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