I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
