he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
