Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
