He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize