before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
