No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize