Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
