All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
