she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
