South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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