we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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