He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
