we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?