I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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