Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
