just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
