apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You ate ashes out of my bong
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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