We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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