dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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