I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
