Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
