Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
