shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
