I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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