Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
