I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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