I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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