There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
